Season Two Finale - (Part Two)

sorry about last night, the voice told me to go to sleep. i thought i had time, but they cut my bed time short, becuase they gave me a privelage of the light off. ok, so here's the rest.
i told valery i wasn't sick, just some stuff goin on. but i asked her to keep it hush hush, and just to tell the school i was sick. she gladly said sure, and was off. soon after she left, i walked upstairs into the hallway and something just hit me. i dont know why, how, or when. it just hit me. why my brother was dead.
alexis.
it's like something shouted it to me. the feeling turned my gut to mush, i felt like vommiting. i ran into the bathroom and did just that. i dont know if it was the drugs or the thought, but i vommitted. finnaly, i realized he was gone becuase of her. this all was because of her having sex with him. so i decided i wanted to do something. finnally, i decided, tomorow i would go to school.
the next day i did go to school, but it was odd, it's like everyone gave me these glances that really meant "look at him, his brother killed himself, the fucking druggie."
then i saw alexis. she walked by me, and hated her more and more. but then i grabbed her arm.
i guess i really grabbed it hard, because as soon as i did, she wimpered.
"come to my house...tonight." i said. she knew i was pissed.
she slowly backed away. i let go, and she walked away.
she didnt turn back. i didnt take my glance off her until i felt a shove behind me.
i turned to see what happend. paul.
he was standing there, sweater and hood on.
"I told you not to come to school." he said.
"that was awhile ago." i said to him.
"fuck you." his tone was fierce.
he walked away. i just looked at him. i leaned against the locker, banging my head backwards.
then i saw alexis run over to paul. she was talking, they looked at me.
during the day i just sat in the classes, not listening. i wwanted to get out of the class, so i just asked to go to the bathroom. instead, i went to my locker.
a note was taped to the door.
"finish her off with it." i just stared at it.
then i opened my locker. a sawed-off shot gun lay in there, center of everything.
i quickly slammed my locker. i opend it again, slowly.
i grabbed the fire arm and ran home.
that night i got a call
"I wont be home till late. make dinner" my mom said, and just hung up.
i hated her fucking guts.
soon the doorbell rang. alexis.
as i let her in, my hands started to shake. she sat in the living room.
"what could you fucking possibly want, you pschyco fuck." she said, with hate.
i grabbed her neck, and shoved her aganst the wall.
"you fuck whore. you did this to me, you did this to my brother." i yelled in her face.
she was coughing wildly. she clawed at my hands.
"you couldn't keep you fucking filthy hands off me or him, you stupid slut." i let her go. she dropped to the ground and i kicked her. i couldn't stop. it wasn't me, it was an animal.
she lay on the ground, sobbing, blood on her face and hands.
"you...have no idea." she said.
i got down.
"what the fuck does that mean?" i asked her, grabbing her shoulders.
"what did you think...that you could always fuck me? its like all you wanted to do...you didnt even love me..." she was crying. she couldnt stand it.
me either.
"YOU FUCKING THOUGHT THAT? YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU!" I grabbed her, threw her down again left her there. then i got it from my back pack. she groaned. crawling away, she whimpered. her voice echoed in my ears.
so did the gunshot.
i had missed her, but she was scared. i pointed it at her face.
"How the fuck do you like that...looking at the barrel of a gun?" i asked. i started crying, tears streamign my face.
"Why...the fuck did you do this to me and him??" I askd her.
I took the gun and pointed it towards myself.
"this is fucking hell..." i screamed at her.
the rest is from what she told me, later, while i was in the hospital.
i pulled the trigger. the gun went off, blew off the right side of my face.
alexis was splattered with my blood. i soon was knocked unconcious from shock. the whole time she stood there.
she finnaly called 911. i hadnt killed myself, i missed, but the bullet blew off enough of my face.
now, when i woke, they told me they had already done re-constuctive surgery. i didnt want to see myself.
a few weeks while i was in the hospital, i heard my mom had decided to live with her family in california. she didnt want anything to do with me.
alexis visited me once. just to tell me the truth.
that she never was pregnant. she told me that because she wanted to end our relationship. she said she never thought my brother would kill himself. i grabbed her neck, and strangled her enough to be taken some place.
so know im in rehab, but it's also like prison. the voice, who is the only thing that i interact with in my cell, tells me what's going on. then one day my father visited me.
"why did you leave?" i asked.
"I couldn't stand it...your brother gone." he said.
"you selfish bastard...what about me and mom? didn't you fucking think about us?" he never visted me again.
i've been in here for awhile.
in a few days i'll be 18, leaving me to be charged as an adult for assault.
alexis filed against me.
so this is it. this was me. from now on, i'll be behind bars, if convicted guilty. everyone says the chance of me being proven innocent is almost one in a billion. you think i would cherish all those times in high school.
but why me?
why me?
i guess the only good thing is the fact senior year, i wasnt there. paul brought in guns...killed half the senior class, since they were all in an assembly at the time. he ended up killing him self. the last things he shouted were:
"kris, you fucking cunt."
so that's it.
fuck you all.
every last one of you.