Season Two Finale - (Part One)

the bright light in this room annoys me, it annoys me when i try to sleep. the voice doesn't do anything about it though, which makes me angry.
the last time i wrote, remember?
the next day, i faked sick, but my mom didnt give a fuck. she was taking pills any way, so she had no idea what the fuck was happening. the ext day, i got kind of worried, bout that phone call. called paul, no on awnsered, so i called some kid. i asked him about school, he said nothign was hapening, same old shit. but after that, it was weird. i had a slow desecnt downwards. from then on, i started doing some shit, first pot, then i got into the heavier stuff. i used acid, angel dust, LSD, speedball.
my mom didnt give a fuck, from then on, she just went to work, came home, and shut her self up in her room. there was nothing more in the house. no love, no connection. then one day, after right after i used heroine, i walked into my brothers room. the first time since he killed himself. even with the drugs in my system, i still felt the pain. i sat on his bed and cried. i wanted him so badly. i just wanted to hold him for a few minutes. i wanted him to tell me to stop being such a pussy and that he was ok. but i couldn't. his pictures of his girlfriends of him lined the dresser. i took one, which was just him with me from a year ago. but the heroine was fucking with me. i heard these voices. then i saw him. i had turned around, and saw him sitting at his computer. i wanted to run over to him, but my legs made me stay put. i just looked at him. then he just went away.
that night i slept in his bed. i didnt bother to get up the next morning, just to get more drugs from my room. i went back to my bro's room, put in a cd, jimi hendrix, and just sat there, smoking pot. i shot heroine. i just layed there, and cried. i cried for hours, i think days. but i cant remember anything. i had never done any drugs before al this.
i hadnt gotten laid in awhile either. finally i got up. i looked out the window and saw my mom's car gone. i didnt care. i walked downstairs. soon after teh door rang. i opened the door. Valery, a girl from my school was there.
"hi..." i said.
"Kris, the school sent me over. you havent called, so they needed to know why. your phone isnt working, so they couldn't get intouch." she said. she was class pres., this being one of her jobs.
Valery had always had a crush on me. i hadnt really fully noticed it until now.
She walked in the house, i ran to the bathroom, and fixed my self up.
I saw her int he living room.
"So, why did they send you?" I asked
"the whole office is tied up, they elected me to go, since i wanted to see you. i was worreied."
she said
i guess i was so fuckin messed up, i dont remember telling myself to say this.
"are you a virigin?"
she didnt look shocked.
"no, i have had sex once." she anwsered.
"Oh really?" I said. I walked over to her.
she looked up at me. then she started to unbutton her shirt. i quickly grabbed a condom, slipped it on, and we had sex.
right there. on the couch...i didnt know hwo we got there. i was to high. we had sex on the couch, me on top, she moaned, i moaned. it was nice to be with someone. i felt cared for and loved for that time. reaching our peak, we finally just lay there. she looked at me.
"they must be wodnering where I am" she said.
"i know where you are..." i said.
she smiled. "kris...are you a virigin?" she asked.
then it hit me. i really wanted it back from alexis...i hated the feeling of losing something.
i didnt want to say that i had it so many times with Alexis...
"No" I said. "A few times before."
we stopped talking.
i kind of felt bad, about having sex right then...but i couldn't un do it.
we put on our clothing, and sat there. i looked at her and saw something i hadnt seen since i first loved alexis.
but then it was gone, momentarily.
i decide-
sorry...the voice is telling me it's tiem for sleep. its turning off the light, because ive been good. ill tell you the rest tomorow. night.
g'night...